Why "I'll be happy when..." narratives aren't worth your time!

Raise a hand if you have an “I’ll be happy when...” narrative in your mind!

Although I would never have admitted it before, “I’ll be happy when I’m a size 2” is something I've been telling myself for years.

Well guys, I did it. The other day while shopping, I tried on a pair of jeans which were a size below my previous size. Too big. Then another size down. Still too big. I had finally arrived at the size the media and I had been certain would make us all happy, beloved and beautiful!


I had finally achieved one of my lifelong "I'll be happy when..." goals!

But something was wrong. I didn’t feel happy or beautiful or beloved the way media had let me to believe I would feel at a size 2, and I certainly wasn’t jumping up and down in excitement like I had told myself I would be if I ever reached this size.

I looked at myself in the mirror in those coveted size 2 jeans, and still, I felt inadequate. I still looked at my reflection wishing my thighs were more toned, my abs more defined, that my chest was larger, ankles thinner, hips wider and so on.

It occurred to me in that changeroom that we can never be enough until we truly believe that we are already enough. “I’ll be happy when...” narratives thrive when we believe we aren’t already enough as we are, and that an accomplishment can fix us or make us better.


Not only is this an impossible standard, but when you really think about it, it's absurd. When we arrive at our "I'll be happy when..." destinations, there is always a catch. Always something that could have been done better or another accomplishment we must reach before truly achieving happiness.

The key is knowing that, because you are enough, happiness is already right there next to you, waiting for you to see it and invite it into your life.

So please allow me to assure you: you are already enough. In this moment, in this body, in these circumstances, you are more than enough and always will be!

You’ve always been enough!

As for happiness, it's there whenever you want it. Always and in every circumstance. No happiness to be found? Name something you're grateful for. It may not be outright joy, but that in itself is a piece of happiness to call your own.

Finally, I'd like to confirm that a lower size absolutely will not fulfill your “I’ll be happy when...” narrative. On the other hand, a little self-compassion just might.

I urge you to replace your own "I'll be happy when..." narratives with "I'm happy/content/grateful now because..." narratives and see how much happier -- and less stressful -- your life begins to feel!

Comments